Final 12-team order, full-season points and records, every award worth handing out, and the storylines that defined the year.
Logan Alderson — final regular-season record 9–5, league-best 1,879.96 points, undefeated 7–0 at home. Defeated Blevins' RubNTug 138.12–85.0 in the championship game.
"From toilet bowl to trophy. Now pay up." — the league
| # | Team | Status | W–L |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Mr Pfizer + Swifties for Kamala Logan Alderson | Champ | 9–5 |
| 2 | Blevins' RubNTug Jacob Johnson | Runner-Up | 11–3 |
| 3 | Nobody's Hurt Eli Hurt | 3rd | 6–8 |
| 4 | 3rd Beer Hits The Blake Towers Garrett Burton · 188.34 in R1 | 188 Pts | 8–6 |
| 5 | I chase brown kids jacob barnwell · L7 streak to end | 7L Skid | 6–8 |
| 6 | 4th n Long to Deannas Tight End Cain Cooksey · 8 roster moves all year | Efficient | 8–6 |
| 7 | Gut Check Donavon Alderson · R1 exit as #2 seed | Crybaby | 10–4 |
| 8 | CeeDees Blue Balls Isaac Puzey · 35 roster moves, still mid | Still Mid | 6–8 |
| 9 | Beatin Sandy's Cheeks Tyler Blevins · won by 1.32 pts | Consol. | 6–8 |
| 10 | Room 40's Nuts CJ Tackett · defending champ falls | Dethroned | 6–8 |
| 11 | Naber, What?! Blake Howell · 2022 champ to this | — | 4–10 |
| 12 | Waffle House Bound Rylan Thomas · 63.3 pts in finale | 🚽 Toilet | 4–10 |
| # | Team | PF | PA | REC | Home | Away | Strk | Moves |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Mr Pfizer + Swifties Logan Alderson |
1879.96 | 1610.60 | 9–5 | 7–0 | 2–5 | W1 | 23 |
| 2 | Blevins' RubNTug Jacob Johnson |
1670.82 | 1487.74 | 11–3 | 6–2 | 5–1 | W3 | 16 |
| 3 | Nobody's Hurt Eli Hurt |
1619.98 | 1598.44 | 6–8 | 3–5 | 3–3 | W1 | 13 |
| 4 | 3rd Beer Hits Blake Garrett Burton |
1539.60 | 1597.12 | 8–6 | 4–2 | 4–4 | L2 | 12 |
| 5 | I chase brown kids jacob barnwell |
1678.86 | 1653.92 | 6–8 | 3–4 | 3–4 | L7 | 19 |
| 6 | 4th n Long to Deanna Cain Cooksey |
1593.18 | 1679.10 | 8–6 | 3–5 | 5–1 | W3 | 8 |
| 7 | Gut Check Donavon Alderson |
1824.56 | 1492.06 | 10–4 | 5–1 | 5–3 | W2 | 25 |
| 8 | CeeDees Blue Balls Isaac Puzey |
1598.38 | 1673.20 | 6–8 | 4–2 | 2–6 | L1 | 35 |
| 9 | Beatin Sandy's Cheeks Tyler Blevins |
1484.28 | 1644.10 | 6–8 | 3–4 | 3–4 | L1 | 17 |
| 10 | Room 40's Nuts CJ Tackett |
1490.40 | 1650.76 | 6–8 | 3–4 | 3–4 | W4 | 25 |
| 11 | Naber, What?! Blake Howell |
1447.98 | 1618.96 | 4–10 | 1–6 | 3–4 | L2 | 12 |
| 12 | Waffle House Bound Rylan Thomas |
1452.86 | 1574.86 | 4–10 | 2–5 | 2–5 | L5 | 19 |
Logan's Mr Pfizer + Swifties for Kamala dominated the title game, crushing Jacob Johnson's Blevins' RubNTug 138.12–85.0. The #3 seed completed a dominant playoff run after leading the league in scoring (1,879.96) and going undefeated at home. The 53-point margin was the largest of the entire playoffs.
Eli Hurt's Nobody's Hurt entered as the #7 seed at 6–8. They pulled off the upset of Round 1, knocking out the #2 seed 109.72 to 100.68. The magic continued to a 3rd-place finish — proof you don't need the best regular season to make noise in January.
jacob barnwell's I chase brown kids had the 5th-most points in the league (1,678.86) but finished on a brutal seven-game losing streak. The L7 collapse is one for the record books — fantasy football is a cruel, cruel game.
The #2 seed at 10–4 with 1,824.56 points. A first-round exit at the hands of the 7-seed was too much. Sources say he Venmo'd the league fees and ghosted the group chat. New commish era incoming?