Week 1 is in the books. Six winners, six losers, one tallboy. Live standings and the Week 2 power boards up top, the full 2025 archive underneath.
Six teams are 1–0, six are 0–1, and the gap between the top and bottom score is already 98 points: Spanky Time put up 175.56 and Gut Check put up 77.5. Points for is the tiebreaker, which is why CJ sits 7th at 0–1 with the highest losing score in the league and Jacob Johnson sits 6th at 1–0 with the lowest winning one.
"It's one week." — six managers, simultaneously
| # | Team | W–L | PF | PA | Week 1 | Strk | Playoff % | Moves |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Spanky Time Rylan Thomas · was rylan's Remarkable Team | 1–0 | 175.56 | 115.42 | W 175.56–115.42 | W1 | 77% | 1 |
| 2 | Aaronning Away With It Isaac Puzey | 1–0 | 162.96 | 104.24 | W 162.96–104.24 | W1 | 73% | 1 |
| 3 | Nobody's Hurt Eli Hurt | 1–0 | 150.46 | 125.66 | W 150.46–125.66 | W1 | 83% | 1 |
| 4 | I chase brown kids Jacob Barnwell | 1–0 | 130.26 | 89.16 | W 130.26–89.16 | W1 | 76% | 1 |
| 5 | Mr Swift Logan Alderson · def. champ | 1–0 | 120.7 | 77.5 | W 120.7–77.5 | W1 | 73% | 2 |
| 6 | Blevins' RubNTug Jacob Johnson | 1–0 | 113.72 | 100.56 | W 113.72–100.56 | W1 | 67% | 3 |
| 7 | Room 40's Nuts CJ Tackett · highest losing score | 0–1 | 125.66 | 150.46 | L 125.66–150.46 | L1 | 62% | 2 |
| 8 | Naber, What?! Blake Howell | 0–1 | 115.42 | 175.56 | L 115.42–175.56 | L1 | 60% | 0 |
| 9 | 3rd Beer Hits The Blake Towers Garrett Burton | 0–1 | 104.24 | 162.96 | L 104.24–162.96 | L1 | 57% | 0 |
| 10 | Beatin Sandy's Cheeks Tyler Blevins | 0–1 | 100.56 | 113.72 | L 100.56–113.72 | L1 | 55% | 0 |
| 11 | 4th n Long to Deannas Tight End Cain Cooksey | 0–1 | 89.16 | 130.26 | L 89.16–130.26 | L1 | 64% | 0 |
| 12 | Gut Check Donavon Alderson · Week 1 tallboy 🍺 | 0–1 | 77.5 | 120.7 | L 77.5–120.7 | L1 | 53% | 3 |
| ESPN | Team | Move | Draft | NTSN | Δ |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Nobody's Hurt Eli Hurt · Allen 35.66, Watson 32.7, Bijan 31.3 | EVEN | 1 | 1 | EVEN |
| 2 | Spanky Time Rylan Thomas · 175.56, top score in the league | +9 | 11 | 2 | EVEN |
| 3 | I chase brown kids Jacob Barnwell · Jeanty 32.7, Olave 28.2 | +3 | 6 | 4 | −1 |
| 4 | Mr Swift Logan Alderson · beat the weakest score on the board | +4 | 8 | 8 | −4 |
| 5 | Aaronning Away With It Isaac Puzey · 162.96, second-highest score | +2 | 7 | 3 | +2 |
| 6 | Blevins' RubNTug Jacob Johnson · won, but lowest winning score | +6 | 12 | 5 | +1 |
| 7 | 4th n Long to Deannas Tight End Cain Cooksey · 89.16 from an A+ draft | −5 | 2 | 6 | +1 |
| 8 | Room 40's Nuts CJ Tackett · 125.66 in a loss, Henry 35.3 | −5 | 3 | 7 | +1 |
| 9 | Naber, What?! Blake Howell · 115.42, ran into a buzzsaw | −5 | 4 | 10 | −1 |
| 10 | 3rd Beer Hits The Blake Towers Garrett Burton · 104.24, Flowers 26.0 | −5 | 5 | 9 | +1 |
| 11 | Beatin Sandy's Cheeks Tyler Blevins · 100.56, PIT D/ST was the top scorer | −1 | 10 | 11 | EVEN |
| 12 | Gut Check Donavon Alderson · 77.5, first tallboy of 2026 | −3 | 9 | 12 | EVEN |
| NTSN | Team | Draft | Slot | ESPN | Δ |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 4th n Long to Deannas Tight End Cain Cooksey · McCaffrey + Barkley + Lamar | A+ | 6 | 2 | +1 |
| 2 | Blevins' RubNTug Jacob Johnson · Jefferson, Rice, Hurts, Kelce | A | 11 | 12 | +10 |
| 3 | Room 40's Nuts CJ Tackett · deepest board in the room | A− | 4 | 3 | — |
| 4 | 3rd Beer Hits The Blake Towers Garrett Burton · CeeDee heads a loaded WR room | B+ | 9 | 5 | +1 |
| 5 | Aaronning Away With It Isaac Puzey · Gibbs, Jacobs, A.J. Brown | B+ | 1 | 7 | +2 |
| 6 | Beatin Sandy's Cheeks Tyler Blevins · Achane, London, Daniels | B | 12 | 10 | +4 |
| 7 | Nobody's Hurt Eli Hurt · Bijan + Breece, then a cliff | B | 2 | 1 | −6 |
| 8 | I chase brown kids Jacob Barnwell · Cook, Jeanty, Burrow, Kittle | B− | 10 | 6 | −2 |
| 9 | Mr Swift Logan Alderson · defending champ, thin backfield | C+ | 7 | 8 | −1 |
| 10 | Gut Check Donavon Alderson · Chase, then three QBs | C+ | 3 | 9 | −1 |
| 11 | rylan's Remarkable Team Rylan Thomas · seven RBs, one QB · now Spanky Time | C | 5 | 11 | — |
| 12 | Naber, What?! Blake Howell · got the name pick | C− | 8 | 4 | −8 |
ESPN had last year's 11–3 runner-up dead last on draft day. Week 1: Jefferson 31.2, Hurts 24.72, a 113.72 to 100.56 win over Tyler. ESPN moved him from 12th to 6th. It was the lowest winning score of the week, so we are taking the point quietly.
ESPN loved the Jonathan Taylor and Malik Nabers core. Week 1: Taylor 25.1, Seattle D/ST 14.0, Jordan Love 13.0, and a 115.42 to 175.56 loss to Spanky Time. ESPN dropped him five spots to 9th. We still have him 10th.
We said everything after Bijan, Breece and Allen was a cliff. Week 1: Allen 35.66, Christian Watson 32.7, Bijan 31.3, 150.46 total against the highest losing score in the league. ESPN kept him first. So did we, as of this morning.
Two of the three preseason arguments broke NTSN's way in Week 1, and the third broke so hard the other direction that we conceded on the spot. The bigger surprise was the team neither board argued about: Rylan was 11th on both in August and is 2nd on both today. Cain, top two on both boards, scored 89.16 and now sits 7th on ESPN's board and 6th on ours.
"One week is a sample size when I win." — every 1–0 manager
Logan Alderson — final regular-season record 9–5, league-best 1,879.96 points, undefeated 7–0 at home. Defeated Blevins' RubNTug 138.12–85.0 in the championship game.
"From toilet bowl to trophy. Now pay up." — the league
| # | Team | Status | W–L |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Mr Pfizer + Swifties for Kamala Logan Alderson | Champ | 9–5 |
| 2 | Blevins' RubNTug Jacob Johnson | Runner-Up | 11–3 |
| 3 | Nobody's Hurt Eli Hurt | 3rd | 6–8 |
| 4 | 3rd Beer Hits The Blake Towers Garrett Burton · 188.34 in R1 | 188 Pts | 8–6 |
| 5 | I chase brown kids jacob barnwell · L7 streak to end | 7L Skid | 6–8 |
| 6 | 4th n Long to Deannas Tight End Cain Cooksey · 8 roster moves all year | Efficient | 8–6 |
| 7 | Gut Check Donavon Alderson · R1 exit as #2 seed | Crybaby | 10–4 |
| 8 | CeeDees Blue Balls Isaac Puzey · 35 roster moves, still mid | Still Mid | 6–8 |
| 9 | Beatin Sandy's Cheeks Tyler Blevins · won by 1.32 pts | Consol. | 6–8 |
| 10 | Room 40's Nuts CJ Tackett · defending champ falls | Dethroned | 6–8 |
| 11 | Naber, What?! Blake Howell · 2022 champ to this | — | 4–10 |
| 12 | Waffle House Bound Rylan Thomas · 63.3 pts in finale | Last Place | 4–10 |
| # | Team | PF | PA | REC | Home | Away | Strk | Moves |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Mr Pfizer + Swifties Logan Alderson |
1879.96 | 1610.60 | 9–5 | 7–0 | 2–5 | W1 | 23 |
| 2 | Blevins' RubNTug Jacob Johnson |
1670.82 | 1487.74 | 11–3 | 6–2 | 5–1 | W3 | 16 |
| 3 | Nobody's Hurt Eli Hurt |
1619.98 | 1598.44 | 6–8 | 3–5 | 3–3 | W1 | 13 |
| 4 | 3rd Beer Hits Blake Garrett Burton |
1539.60 | 1597.12 | 8–6 | 4–2 | 4–4 | L2 | 12 |
| 5 | I chase brown kids jacob barnwell |
1678.86 | 1653.92 | 6–8 | 3–4 | 3–4 | L7 | 19 |
| 6 | 4th n Long to Deanna Cain Cooksey |
1593.18 | 1679.10 | 8–6 | 3–5 | 5–1 | W3 | 8 |
| 7 | Gut Check Donavon Alderson |
1824.56 | 1492.06 | 10–4 | 5–1 | 5–3 | W2 | 25 |
| 8 | CeeDees Blue Balls Isaac Puzey |
1598.38 | 1673.20 | 6–8 | 4–2 | 2–6 | L1 | 35 |
| 9 | Beatin Sandy's Cheeks Tyler Blevins |
1484.28 | 1644.10 | 6–8 | 3–4 | 3–4 | L1 | 17 |
| 10 | Room 40's Nuts CJ Tackett |
1490.40 | 1650.76 | 6–8 | 3–4 | 3–4 | W4 | 25 |
| 11 | Naber, What?! Blake Howell |
1447.98 | 1618.96 | 4–10 | 1–6 | 3–4 | L2 | 12 |
| 12 | Waffle House Bound Rylan Thomas |
1452.86 | 1574.86 | 4–10 | 2–5 | 2–5 | L5 | 19 |
Logan's Mr Pfizer + Swifties for Kamala dominated the title game, crushing Jacob Johnson's Blevins' RubNTug 138.12–85.0. The #3 seed completed a dominant playoff run after leading the league in scoring (1,879.96) and going undefeated at home. The 53-point margin was the largest of the entire playoffs.
Eli Hurt's Nobody's Hurt entered as the #7 seed at 6–8. They pulled off the upset of Round 1, knocking out the #2 seed 109.72 to 100.68. The magic continued to a 3rd-place finish — proof you don't need the best regular season to make noise in January.
jacob barnwell's I chase brown kids had the 5th-most points in the league (1,678.86) but finished on a brutal seven-game losing streak. The L7 collapse is one for the record books — fantasy football is a cruel, cruel game.
The #2 seed at 10–4 with 1,824.56 points. A first-round exit at the hands of the 7-seed was too much. Sources say he Venmo'd the league fees and ghosted the group chat. New commish era incoming?